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PRACTICES TO AVOID
Just as there are positive, ethical practices as community leader, there
are several practices that, over time, are almost guaranteed to erode the
relationship of mutual respect that you have with your students.
The following list of "nevers" is suggested:
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Never demean a student or group of
students. It always has the effect of diminishing a student's
confidence and self-esteem. Sarcasm
meant to be clever or a disparaging statement flaunting power or intellect
always hurts students, and usually marks the beginning of an adversarial,
rather than a respectful, relationship.
-
Never demand respect.
Don't be fooled into thinking that just because you are a staff
member with responsibilities you will automatically get respect. This may be true at first, but as the year goes on students
will only respect you for being a good and respectful leader and not for
your authority. The way to get
respect is to respect others.
-
Never be dishonest with students.
Honesty is mark of integrity, and integrity is one trait of a good
leader. If you are dishonest
with students, they will no longer trust you and will no longer respect you
as a leader. If you make a
mistake, admit it and move on.
-
Never accuse students of not trying.
Accusatory or judgmental statements diminish your relationship with
students and may make them not want to try at all.
Lectures and negative reinforcement only alienate and discourage.
-
Never get into a power struggle.
Power struggles almost always are no-win situations.
Students who feel threatened or intimidated are only likely to
continue to retaliate. If you
sense that a power play is developing, begin by "taking your sail out
of their wind." Handle the
matter privately through individual discussion.
-
Never use fear and intimidation to
control students.
While these practices may appear to work in the short-run, in the
long-run fear and intimidation will only lead to bitter feelings and
resentment.
- Avoid
punishing the group.
When one member of the community misbehaves, it almost always
backfires when you try to punish the whole group.
Usually the culprit will enjoy the punishment, and the innocent will
blame you for punishing them.
Return
to Conduct Menu
Sara Hays
Contact: shays@ups.edu
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